Conventions during time of Covid-19

Last weekend, we showed off Stinky Snake our first commercial game along with the demo of the remastered version of it. This was our first in-person video game convention since COVID-19 began or, more accurately, since it became a defining influence in our everyday lives.

The trip was a lot to deal with. There was imposter syndrome coupled with questioning my own sanity for getting into a car then driving more than four hours at 9pm at night after working all day, more like stressing all day. I was also scared I would take a wrong turn and extend the drive. Then there was also the feeling of not having many familiar faces or mental anchors to keep me afloat. However, not all of the whirlwind of emotions was bad. I felt like a hot mess both days of the convention, but I must say the experience of being in a space with others had a similarly humbling experience as when we showed our game at PAX East in 2019.

I enjoyed seeing a few familiar faces, some of which I can call friend and advocate. I also saw people who I knew from social media but didn’t realize until much later. I was also recognized from another event I attended. Still, I felt a little out of practice with social interaction. For me, it is helpful for me to have the combination of the whole face and the body language of a person. This tells me how to approach a person or whether it was a good idea to approach them in the first place. The masks kind of hindered that for me. It felt unfamiliar for me to use the eyes of a person to gauge their emotions or how they reacted to my words. Also, eye contact has always felt a bit too intimate and vulnerable to me. So, now we have a new way of reading people that is vulnerable but also masked. I really need to get used it on a mental level.

Now onto the highlights. One of these involves my son and I experimenting with animations in Unity. On the second day of the convention, when there weren’t people coming to our booth, we worked on animating parts of an object. Although, it was more like us fighting over the laptop and him telling me he got it then doing the animation and applying what he learned on another game object. He was pretty proud of himself too. Actually, I take that back. We weren’t fighting. It was only healthy banter. So, now I have a new Animations intern on staff now.

The other highlight was watching families play our game — the copy that is in stores and the demo of the remastered version. This was a really good feeling. Then, after the second or third family visited our booth, it hit me. We make family made games. We are a female-led, family company that makes video games. That is who we are. It was in that moment that I pushed aside the fear of being out in the open. When the pandemic happened, I was pushed into the shadows. When families started coming to our booth and I started asking for pictures, I felt like I was back again. Prior to this moment, I veered away from taking pictures because it all felt so intimate being around others and all the emotions of being outside that I touched on above, but at that moment, I saw a family I pulled the invisible cloak that I was hiding behind and Darlene, the game designer, was back at work in front of the scenes versus behind the scenes.

So no. I am not crazy. I am on the right path. I am hoping that we can keep getting back out into the world and I only pray that we keep going forward.